Falling hard
by sly purple turle
Summary: Ryder is going crazy over Katie, and wants to listen to no one. What will he do when everything around him starts to unfold? M slash/ gay yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Ryder knew Katie wasn't real but he just couldn't handle loosing someone who was so close to him. He has shared everything with her, everything, and he just couldn't give that up. As he walked down the hallway and thought about all the possibilities, of whom Katie could be. He passed Unique and cringed, if it was him, he would freak. He hasn't fully accepted Unique as a girl yet, he really wished that Wade would just stay Wade and stop making people uncomfortable. Ryder understood this was something that Unique/Wade couldn't change but that didn't mean that it made him any more comfortable. When he reached his locker, he saw Marley talking to Jake and he stared. She was just so beautiful, he was finally over her but, that didn't make her any less attractive. And Jake, Ryder was so Jealous of him. They aren't at each other's throats anymore but Ryder still didn't like him, he didn't deserve Marley. "Hey Justin Beiber in training, have you dropped your first single yet?" Ryder rolled his eyes and turned to face option number three, Kitty. "Hi Kitty, how are you?" Ryder asked, closing his locker and heading to first period.  
"Well, I was hoping to see your last attempt at getting Mrs. Man back there but sadly you didn't. Look like your boy toys still haven't dropped yet, speak to me when they do." The blonde Cheerio said, prancing away. Ryder watched her walk away; he wouldn't mind if it was her, she was pretty hot, but she was a total and utter bitch. Ryder decided to leave this subject alone for a minute and took a seat in Chemistry. He started to reach for his phone to text Katie but felt a tap on his shoulder, "Hey dude." Ryder instantly felt exhausted, "Hey" he replied. Jake sat down next to Ryder. The tables in Chemistry class were long black tables, meant for two people at a time. "So what's up bro?" Jake asked, pulling his books out of his book bag. "Thinking about Katie. I really need to figure out who this person is. I'm really paranoid, like if she can't trust me with her identity, how am I supposed to trust her with all my secrets?"  
Jake was about to say something when Dr. Rosemary started speaking, cutting him off. It's not like Ryder really cared about what Jake had to say, he felt annoyed with his presence.  
After Chemistry, Ryder went to lunch, sitting by himself like usual. He liked being by himself, it gave him a chance to think, which is what he has been doing a lot lately. He opened his phone and went to Katie's contact when he was interrupted once again. "Hey babe" Marley said, walking up with Jake. Ryder mentally groaned and out his phone away, "Hey Guys, what's up." Ryder said, faking a smile. Marley sat beside him and Jake sat on the other side of her. "So how has your day been?" Marley asked, sincerely interested. Ryder loved talking to her; she was so friendly and warm. "Well, so far it's been pretty chill. I wish I could just go home though, the only thing about school I really care about is lee club and that's at the end of the day." Ryder said.  
"Oh, well I will be right back; I'm going to go talk to my mom." Marley said, kissing Jake before she left. "So, how is it going with the Katie?" Jake asked.  
"Not well, still the same as before" Ryder said.  
There was a moment of awkward silence when Jake broke it, "Hey, what if it turns out to be a guy?" he asked. Ryder turned his nose up at the question, "Don't want to think about it, that's gross." Just then, Marley came back and Jake pulled her into his lap, and intensely made out with her. Ryder had enough of this and just got up and walked away.  
The rest of the day held to be uneventful, just classes. Glee club came and it lit his day up. Mr. Shue declared it "Discover Week." When Mr. Shue said those words, millions of options went through Ryder's head. Before he knew it, it was time to go home. Feeling as though the class went by too fast, Ryder drug himself out of the classroom.  
Ryder got home and threw his book bag on the living room couch. He went upstairs and pulled his phone out, and finally texted Katie. {Ryder: Hey babe! How are you?!} Ryder waited for a response, and decided to fix himself a mini pizza while he waited. When the pizza finished, Ryder went back upstairs to check his phone, and smiled. {Katie: Hey baby, I'm doing fine, and you?}{Ryder: I'm doing good. You should tell me who you are, that would make feel a lot better.} {Katie: Are we still on this, Ryder? I told you who I am, I am Katie. End of discussion.}. Ryder sighed. {Ryder: We both know that's not true! Just tell me who you are already! Please Katie.} Ryder waited for a reply that never came.  
Realizing he was never going to get a response, he headed downstairs to watch some TV. An hour into his Carton Marathon, Ryder heard a knock at his door. He looked at the time, 9pm. taking into consideration that his mom and dad got home fifteen minutes ago, he wondered who was at his door. He got up and opened it. There at his doorstep was Unique, Marley, Jake, Kitty, Sam, Blaine, Tina, and Kurt. Ryder wondered what they were doing here, "Hey Ryder." Marley said, sending a warm smile his way, "We were all going to go catch a movie, you wanna come with?" Ryder looked among the people that were on his porch. Marley and Jake were probably going to make out the whole time, and maybe Kurt and Blaine will too. He didn't want to be alone with Unique, but Kitty would be there and maybe this would be his chance at getting a confession from her. "Sure" Ryder said.  
He went upstairs to get his shoes and money and to tell his parents he was about to leave. He walked outside with everyone else. Jake put his arm around Ryder and Marley as he walked. This made Ryder uncomfortable, Jakes arm was heavy and didn't fit right with his body, but that didn't prevent Jake from keeping it there. Ryder wanted to be next to Marley instead of Jake anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Don't own Glee btw

They made it to the movies and choose one about Aliens by the same writer of the twilight movies. Ryder wasn't all into the movie; he was focused on getting to talk to Kitty. He was waiting in the lounge with everyone else when Kitty got up to get something from the Concessions stand. Ryder got up and followed her, not even realizing that Marley and Jake were talking to him. "Hey Kitty!" Ryder called. Kitty turned around, saw Ryder, and continued walking, "Sorry your hopes at catching me in the bathroom are crushed boymones, I'm just going to go get some chocolate covered nuts. This reminds me, I must buy Marley and Jake some condoms." The blonde girl said, reaching the snack counter. Ryder forced a laugh, "Yeah, so Kitty, um, how has your day been?" Kitty turned around and stared at him with narrowed eyes, "Well it started off with a bloody period, then a hot threesome, now I think I am pregnant." She said sarcastically, which made the guy at the counter go wide eyed.

Ryder and Kitty started walking back to the group, "Why the sudden interest?" Kitty asked. Ryder scratched the back of his head, "Well, I was just wondering. We don't really speak that much and I was just wondering." Kitty looked at Ryder with a look of disbelief, and sat next to Unique. Ryder went back to Jake and Marley who were whispering to each other, they were in a disgusting type of love, Ryder thought. He thought they were too sweet and in love, he swore if he watched them too long he would get diabetes. He sat next to Jake and went for his phone, and then everyone started to get up, "Movies is starting," Tina said, grabbing Ryder's arm. Ryder knew he was going to just think about Katie the whole time.

Ryder got home and saw he received a text message from Katie. {Katie: Maybe if you send me a Pic I will forgive you.}Ryder thought about that; if he does it, that's another things Katie has over him, if he does do it, maybe she will tell him who she is. {Ryder: I will if you tell me who you really are.} {Katie: Fine and I want full frontal.} Ryder ran to the bathroom and stood in front of his full body mirror, and then his doubt crept felt like he was going to regret this but he decided to go along with it anyway. He snapped the picture and sent it to Katie. {Ryder: Now tell me who you really are} Ryder stayed up all night waiting for Katie to reply, which she never did. He felt his face get hot and had millions of thoughts in his mind screaming at him until he couldn't handle it and punched a wall. Ryder calmed down and lied back on the bed, staring at his ceiling fan. He went to sleep staring at the rotating fan.

Ryder walked into school in a horrible mood; he didn't feel like dealing with anyone's crap today. Speak of the devil, here comes the oh-so awesome Jacob Puckerman. "Hey dude, what's up?!" Jacob said so cheerfully it made Ryder have a bad taste in his mouth. He nodded at Jake and kept walking to his locker. "Dude, are you okay? You have been pretty out of it lately. Is it Katie?" Ryder closed his locker back and walked passed him, "It's nothing, please leave it alone!" Ryder shouted loudly. Jake stopped walking and watched Ryder walk away.

Ryder was extremely pissed all day, he even had to excuse himself to the bathroom once because he got annoyed by the teacher and was about to curse him out. He leaned on the sink and looked at his reflection, red faced. He turned on the cold water and splashed his face, then saw someone come out of the bathroom stall, two someone's; Blaine and Kurt. "I'll be out there in a minute babe, give me a sec" Blaine said, and Kurt walked out. "Hey Ryder, are you okay?" Blaine asked, putting his hand on Ryder's shoulder. Ryder felt his face reddening again, " . .Me" Ryder said through clenched teeth. Blain didn't leave but he took his hand off of Ryder's shoulder and leaned on the sink. "You know if I was you Ryder" Blain started but Ryder cut him off with a huge explosion. "YOU KNOW WHAT BLAINE! YOURE NOT ME! NONE OF YOU ARE ME OKAY! SO YOU ALL NEED TO STOP TRYING TO HELP ME BECAUSE IM FUCKING SICK OF IT! SO SICK OF IT! SO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE NOW!" Ryder yelled and stormed out of the bathroom. He ran into Kurt in the hallway who, when he got aglimpse of Ryder, had a scared expression. Ryder was going to just push him out of the way, but decided against it, he mightbreak him.

Ryder stayed calm through his last two classes and headed to Glee club, hoping to find a relief, oh was he mistaken. Blaine and Kurt were in there and everyone was staring at him with judging and concerned eyes. The fury was back and the heat inRyder's face was back, he knew what he was going to sing. He told the guitarist and the drummer what to play then stood in the middle one the room.

"Every time we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven't missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake

By every sigh and scream we make

All the feelings that I get

But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I HATE everything about you

WHY DO I love you

I HATE everything about you

WHY DO I love you?"

Ryder continued the song and felt relief flow through him every second, but the opposite was happening to the follow gleeclubber's watching this performance. The longer it went, the more concerned they got. When Ryder was done singing, he smiled and went up to sit with everyone else. Others preformed there special songs, and they even got a surprise when Mercedes came in during Marley's performance. When Glee club was over, Marley caught up with Ryder, "Hey! Ryder, wait up!" she yelled, and Ryder smiled at the thought of her running to catch up with him, then he turned and saw Jake was with her and his smile dissipated. "Are you okay? That performance in there was….it was something." Marley said, attempting to be as nice as possible. Ryder laughed and scratched the back of his head, "No everything is good now, Glee club helped a lot." Jake and Marley smiled at him and said good at the same time, then they said goodbye and walked away. Ryder really wished he had someone he could be like that with, and not just an illusion.

Ryder got home and went up to his room and pulled his phone out again, checking for a message from Katie and smiled when he saw her name pop up. {Katie: Ryder, we need to talkL} {Ryder: WHAT IS IT?! ARE YOU OKAY?!} {Katie: I think we need to stop talking to each other.} Those last few words glowed a bright red in Ryder's head and fell off the phone. {Ryder: Babe don't say that, please don't say that.} {Katie: I'mnot good for you Ryder, you aren't happy. Please, please leave this thing we have. I'm not going to respond to anything after this, I will get over you, and you should do the same. ByeRyderL} Ryder's tears fell onto the phone, and he cried himself to sleep


	3. Chapter 3

I no own glee

Ryder drug himself into school, so depressed he didn't see anyone past by him, didn't hear all the concerned questions that was directed at him. His classes were horrible, he didn't pay attention, ninety percent of the time he was on the brink of crying again. Marley came up to him at lunch and tried to talk to him. She went on and on and on in Ryder's opinion, he didn'treally hear anything that she wanted to say. Then Jake tried to give his help, saying it was for the best and that he should just move on. This made him angry, Jake didn't get the right to try to relate, he didn't have problems, and those he did have were petty and just melodramatic. He had the perfect girlfriend, the perfect looks, and the perfect voice, the perfect anything and he just couldn't stand it anymore.

Ryder went to his next class and tried to cheer himself up by listening to music, drawing, and even talking to others. None of this helped, it only made him even more depressed. Everyone was so happy, and it made Ryder feel like he was blowing things out of proportion.

Next was Glee club, and Ryder knew that this class would make him feel better. He walked in and listened to the other people sing, and chat and then it was his turn.

"I found God

On the corner of first and Amistad

Where the west

Was all but won

All alone

Smoking his last cigarette

I said where you been

He said ask anything

Where were you

When everything was falling apart

All my days

Were spent by the telephone

That never rang

When all I needed was a call

That never came

To the corner of first and Amistad

Lost and Insecure

You found me

You found me

Lying on the floor

Surrounded

Surrounded

Why'd you have to wait

Where were you

Where were you

Just a little late

You found me

You found me"

Ryder continued his song, but oddly enough, he didn't feel any better than before. This song was too sad, the emotion was overtaking Ryder, he wouldn't take it all and he ran to the bathroom. He leaned at the sink and saw how red his eyes were, and then allowed himself to cry. He heard the door open and ran into one of the stalls, and then saw a pair of black converses in front of the stall he was in. "Hey dude, are you okay?" it was Jake. Jake opened the door and kneeled in front of Ryder, who was sniveling, still crying. "Dude, it's okay. She is gone, and you will get on with your life. You don't have to hurt anymore and you have people that care about you to help you."

"That right there is the problem!" Ryder yelled, still crying, "I don't have anyone! I can't talk to my parents about this because they would freak out, Marley has you and vise versa, and no one even speaks to me! No one cares and the one person that did has left me! She was my everything, she was my best friend and she wasn't even real. No one cares! No one ever did!"

Jake looked shocked, "How can you say that?! We were there when you were coming to terms with your dyslexia. After you spilled your secret to everyone, I and Marley tried to console you and tell you that everything is okay and that it is in the past. I tried to help you get the identity of your Catfish! How DARE! You say that no one cares about you!"

Ryder was still crying, "Yeah but you're only there in dire situations. You're not there when things are fine, like real friends. I can only call on you guys when things are at anextreme."

Jake knew he had no more options. "Damn, didn't think I would have to do this." He whispered to himself. Jake tilted Ryder's his chin up, his watery brown eyes looking up at him, wondering what he was doing. Jake leaned in and softly kissed Ryder's lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Dont own Glee

anyway, got complaints about my spacing so I tried to make things better, hope you guys enjoy this chapter

Ryder watched as Jake leaned in and brushed his lips against his, then finally kissed him. Ryder was shocked, and Jakes contact sent a bolt of energy through him He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy this. When Jakes curious tongue sought permission into Ryder's mouth, Ryder was back into reality. "Dude!" Ryder yelled, pushing Jake away from him, out of the stall. Jake was still in a daze, trying to catch up to what was happening, and Ryder stepped over him and stormed out of the bathroom. Everyone was waiting outside the bathroom, all looking worried. Ryder froze in front of them, and looking at the expressions, he realized he must look confused, so Ryder just pushed by everyone. He could feel his face was hot, he couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or angry; all he knew was that he had to get out of there.

Ryder made it home and plopped himself on to his bed. He had a thousand thoughts going through his mind, all of them about Jake. He wanted to know why Jake kissed him. What did he say before he did it? Was Jake gay? Did he think Ryder was gay? What is he doing kissing anyone while he is dating Marley?! Ryder had all of these questions, but he didn't want to talk to Jake. Ryder felt his phone vibrate, multiple times. He checked who they were from. Marley, Blaine, Mercedes, Sam, and surprisingly Kurt. Ryder didn't want to talk about what happened, it was all too complicated.

This made Ryder's feeling worse, everyone was going to him because he felt bad. No one cared when he was okay, he was just a ghost. Ryder would walk through the hallways, maybe getting a hi or hello occasionally but the only way for him to get attention of for anyone to care was for him to be in or start some drama. Like with Marley of Katie. This is why he didn't want anyone talking to him about his problems, because they would talk to him and then leave him. Then he has an eventful week like this and he has no idea what's going on. Only weeks ago Jake hated him, he still kind of didn't like Jake, but then today he attacks him with lips and, Ryder just couldn't process everything right now and covered his face with his pillow to muffle a scream. Ryder went downstairs to numb his brain with TV, which worked. He eventually went to sleep on the couch.

Ryder woke up on the couch, sweaty and lost. He went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed, deciding on a light blue hoodie and a pair of dark colored boot-cut jeans. He felt a lot better than the rest of the week, he felt like he was forgetting something but didn't stay on the subject. He went to school and was first approached by Sam, who started asking him questions about the Football Game from the night before, which lead to a huge argument about which quarter back on any team was the strongest. Ryder said argued The Giants, David Car; while Sam argued The Patriots, Tom Brady. They were interrupted by the one minute bell, which got them to quickly agree to disagree and head to class.

Ryder's day was going pretty well, until he saw Jake. Jake was sitting at their table and at the sight of him; all the events of yesterday ran through his mind, well only one event, Jake kissing him. Ryder felt his insides light up, like someone lit a campfire inside of him. He didn't want to talk to Jake so he sat next to a kid across the room, who no one ever sat next to. Ryder wondered why no one sat beside him, he seemed like a pretty cool guy, look average; then quickly got his answer. This guy smelled putrid, so horrible it made Ryder gag; he wasn't going to be able to stand this guy's smell all period. Ryder looked behind him and saw that Jake was staring at him with curious eyes, and Ryder quickly turned back around; maybe just one period Ryder thought.

After first period, Ryder had to go to the library to check out a book for a book report he was supposed to write, but as he searched through the books, he was pulled into one of the isles. "Hey!" Ryder yelped.

"Be quite! We ARE in a library." The person whispered, Ryder recognizing it as Jake. Ryder's insider lit up again, making him feel as if he was on fire. He slapped Jakes hand off of him.

"Dude, what do you think you are doing? Pulling on me like that." Ryder said, brushing himself off.

"Well we need to talk; about yesterday in the bathrrom." Jake said, avoiding eye contact with Ryder. Ryder felt himself go stiff.

"I don't want to talk about…that." Ryder said, still not facing Jake.

Jake put his hand on Ryder's shoulder and turned him around, "I'm so sorry dude! I didn't want to just attack you like that, but you were a mess and you just looked so fucking adorable with those watery eyes and I just couldn't." Jake said, pulling Ryder closer to him, close enough their lips almost touched, but Ryder pushed him away.

"Jake, stop! I am not gay! I don't want to kiss you. You're cool and all but I don't like guys like that! Plus you have a girlfriend, how would she feel about this?" Ryder said

Ryder saw a flash of panic go across Jakes face, "You can't tell ANYONE about this Ryder, ANYONE! Please" Jake pleaded

Ryder ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "Fine, just as long as this doesn't happen again."

Jake let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Thank you, and I promise it wont." Jake said, looking at Ryder. Ryder was the first to leave the library, not wanting to stay in that awkward situation.

There were 30 minutes left in lunch so he headed to the cafeteria, determined to get a sloppy Joe. When he got his food, he looked around for someone to sit with and saw kitty, her fellow cheerios were getting up to go somewhere else, leaving her alone. Jake took this opportunity to accompany here. "Hey Kitty." Ryder said, sitting next to her. Kitty looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"If you have come here to ask me how my day is going, I plead the fifth."She said, peeling her banana.

"Well I wasn't going to ask that, but anyway, are you going to sing something in glee club today?"

"Maybe, this week is discover week so maybe; discover is very vague."

"Well, um, maybe we could um, I don't know, maybe" Ryder stuttered, avoiding eye contact with the blonde devil.

"Spit it out or I will leave, and I mean now"

"Will you like to go out with me tonight to Breadstix?" Ryder said quickly, but Kitty caught it.

"Well, I don't have anything better to do in my glorious life. So either go home and watch The Young and The Restless with my mom, or go to Breadstix with you?" Kitty said, sincerely pondering it. Ryder waited patiently for an answer. "Sure." Kitty finally said, getting up and walking away. Ryder was happy and did his victory dance, then realized that everyone was watching him and then stopped.

Ryder was elated the rest of the day, his week had really turned around. He went to glee club with a smile on his face which was a refreshing sight to the rest of the Glee clubbers. He sat next too Marley and waited for Mr. Schue to come in, which he never did. He was sick, so anyone who wanted to sing or anything could go and sing otherwise today was just a nothing day."So how are you?" Marley asked, turning to Ryder. Ryder looked around and saw that everyone was looking at him with curious eyes; everyone except Jake, who was intentionally looking away.

"I'm fine you guys, you don't have to worry." Ryder said, laughing, trying to ease a situation with a lot of tension.

"Are you sure? Yesterday you seemed really messed up over Katie, then you storm out of the bathroom after talking to Jake, then you come to school all bright and happy. Are you sure that everything is good at home? With Katie?" Marley asked, putting her hand on Ryder's shoulder.

"Yes Marley, everything is fine, you don't have to worry." Ryder said, sending her a smile to reassure her.

Everyone eased up on Ryder and Glee club went on with one song and nothing to do, then the bell rang and he left.

When he made it home, he ran to his dresser and tried to find a suitable outfit to wear for his date with Kitty. He didn't know how to dress; there was formal, casual, and dress casual. He knew it wouldn't be appropriate for black tie, but there were still those options. He finally settled on formal, throwing on a black suit. He looked at the clock and saw that it was only seven o'clock, he had an hour left. He decided to take of thee suit and play on his phone. He went onto Facebook, to see he had about ten messages and twenty notifications. He went through them all, not seeing anything important, then saw that Jake was online. Ryder debated messaging him, and decided that he had an hour to blow so why not.{Ryder: Hey, Jake, you never explained to me why you kissed me.}{Jake: Yes I did, you were crying and I needed to shut you up.}{Ryder: You're lying. You said something about my eyes and you not being able to help yourself right before you tried to kiss me again.}{Jake: Why do you care so much? Its over so just leave it.}{Ryder: I'm curious if Bad Boy Jake has a thing for me ;) }{Jake: Ha-Ha, very funny Lynn, get your head out of your ass, I have a girlfriend dude. Also, even if I WAS gay, I could get a WAY better looking guy than you lol} {Ryder: Sure sure, you and you're little Razor scooter could make all the boys and girls scream. Hey, I have to go, have a date with Kitty, cya.} Ryder waited for Jake to say bye but he just logged off. Ryder shrugged, stood up, and threw his phone on the bed. He got dressed again and headed to Kitty's house.

Ryder got to Kitty's house and knocked on the door. He heard some voices and then footsteps heading toward the door. Kitty opened the door sporting a pair of jeans and a pink cardigan with a white undershirt. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know we were having a business meeting, let me grab my suitcase." Kitty said, beginning to close her door, but Ryder but his foot in the door, stopping it from closing.

"Kitty come on, be sincere for once in your life." Ryder pleaded, hoping there wasn't a smudge on his dads dress shoes.

Kitty sighed and re-opened her door, "Fine, this is strike one, you have two more strikes before I dismiss you."

Ryder mouthed thank you and opened the door passenger door to his Honda civic for Kitty. Kitty looked at him and whispered, "Strike two." Ryder got into his side of the car and started it up.

"How did I get my second strike?" Ryder asked, pulling out of Kitty's narrow paved driveway, making sure to not hit her mailbox.

"You have a Honda Civic, totally gay."


End file.
